In Loving Memory of My Father...

Some of you here may remember the blog I had written a year ago, my father had passed away on 3rd Oct'11 exactly a year ago, I'm not really sure what to say here, its so tough to write down my feelings in words, but I told myself when this happened I will post a blog on this day every year. Today is the one year anniversary of my father passing away.  My dad was always one of the most supportive parents you could ever ask for.

I am trying to write a post in his memories & make it seem beautiful but death isn't beautiful, so I would just write about the after affects when you loose your loved ones. It is a part of life to accept we are all here temporarily. I thought I would share some happy moments of our life before the Cancer came in and took away My Father. But I would rather not do that cause I still believe he is with us every day every moment.

Death of a loved one is the worst thing that can happen to anyone. It is synonymous with devastation. No matter what the cause is you will never be ready for it.

Nearly a year has passed since my Dad left us. As the anniversary approaches, my family members & friends may be thinking over the details of the weeks which lead up to that fateful day. At times it cripples me inside and make me feel as if part of me has died inside too. Trying to survive my day to day life but when the night breaks & when I reach home, I find myself all alone, Dad not there to ask how was your day or why are you late today???

Mom has been real stressed out because she doesn't have you around to discuss things. It upsets me sometimes to see her in the state she's in. You know how much Mom misses you. It's been a year and Mom still thinks of you every single day. Not just Mom but all your children misses you alot.

It's the first year death anniversary of my Dad and yet everything seems unreal. I can't totally digest the fact that he is gone for a year now. The first anniversary can be relieving but at the same time very painful because it reminded the day that I will never forget for the rest of my life. I have lost my Dad a year ago on the same day.

Memories....there are uncountable memories which can fill up a scrapbook & I would still need  extra papers to write them down. It's been a year since you're gone. Dad, you used to always call me whenever I was late or away from home, asking my whereabouts. I miss you now dad, why don't you call me? I want to tell you that I miss you a lot, I am on my way back home wait for me at the dinner and that you're the best father a boy could ever dream of.

When you lose your loved one specially a parent, it's never easy. It doesn't matter if that parent was sick or died out of the blue. It doesn't matter if you were close or if you hadn't spoken in years. You still lost the person that brought you into this world. They will never be in this life again.

Anyway, I better stop here now else I might go on forever.  I miss you DAD, and I love you to the farthest galaxy and back. I have fate in you and I'm so happy that at one point in our lives, our paths met as father and son.

Until we meet again, Dad (Abba). :) Take care. Luv U, Miss U :( 

PS. - I have a small request to all my readers to please remember my Dad & my Family members in your prayers. Thnx for your support.

Keep reading, commenting, enjoying & cheering your Life.

Luv u all,

Nothing Lasts Forever !!!

 

A very old post which finally sees the light. I wrote this post almost a year back but I guess its time to share it with everyone cause I am feeling the same nowadays.

                                                Nothing Lasts Forever !!!

I always believed in the above saying but I always ignored it & made a big mistake. A lot happened in the last few days..things so unexpected that I never thought of even in my worst of dream..things so strange that I can’t even think of doing or facing ever in my life. But this is life..isn’t? Expect the unexpected..is what they say. True. Then why to even expect anything. But isn’t too much to ask for? To expect nothing. I was once a person always surrounded by people..not that I had to put any effort for that..but it was always like this. I never lived alone. I always had some person or the other to be by my side. Yes, that was a person I used to be. Always surrounded by people..a loud life…laughs…no worries..love..fun..everything. Yet, there was something that was missing. Something that always made me wondered what am I without these people…what will I do without them.

But, that thought was never permanent..it used to come and leave my mind the very next second. I was too confident to accept the fact that things will change…one day…some day. Time passed and things changed…not for good but for worst. Those people who once were my lifeline started finding their own ways.. ways which never coincide with mine. One by one they left..leaving me standing helpless..clueless.

Now…I was left with very few people around…so few that their count ends before the start. But..I was fine with it. At least I had someone..someone with whom I can share my woes with..someone whom I can call anytime..and they would listen to me. But I always missed that time. I talked about it..I wrote about it..but It never helped.

And then there came a time when I lost those ‘few’ people of mine. I lost the years long connection with them..they were the people I could have died for..and that was the last thing I wanted in my life to happen…to lose them..to lose my life. With few..I still talk…seldom. But things have changed…times have changed…I have changed…and they will never be the same..never.

I am a different person today..not that I don’t care for them…their happiness still brings happiness to me…their tears still makes my heart weep…I am always and always there for them..anytime they call me. But something inside me has changed…I am my own world now…I am my companion now..for I have understand the consequences of attachment…the after-effects of trust..the agony of being alone..all alone.

I see people of my age doing things ..going around..making efforts to look good. I don’t feel like doing any of those thing..this is just not me. I would love to read whole night than to party all night…I would love to sip my cappuccino in a café surrounded by strangers than to be with known-strangers.. It scares me sometime…this weird choice of mine. I do not feel connected with this world around. I don’t feel love inside me anymore…neither for myself, nor for anyone else.

May be this is just a phase or maybe I have become this way. But as they say..Nothing lasts forever. This too shall pass.

Keep reading, commenting, enjoying & cheering your Life.

Luv u all,