I lost my Dad on 3rd of October'11 due to prostrate cancer. I miss him so much, more and more everyday. My Dad was the best man I knew. He and I got along great, and he always listened to whatever I said. He never judged me. I so wanna be like him, and I am so proud to be his son. Dad, I miss you more than words can ever say. There is not a moment that goes by that I don't think about you. I would give anything to have you back. I cant believe I have to go through life without you.
"Dad, I really miss you. I love you. I know that we had a good relationship, and I know that you knew how I loved you. I just wish that I told you more often."
As a child we were told by our elders that there is world beyond the one we live in and that those who leave the world look at us, smilingly, from skies. Today, I want to believe that this is indeed true. I also hope that by now you are in Heaven & looking down at us with a smile.
"Dad, I really miss you. I love you. I know that we had a good relationship, and I know that you knew how I loved you. I just wish that I told you more often."
As a child we were told by our elders that there is world beyond the one we live in and that those who leave the world look at us, smilingly, from skies. Today, I want to believe that this is indeed true. I also hope that by now you are in Heaven & looking down at us with a smile.
How cruel is life? Why is it that people whom you love so much walk away from your life in single stroke? You told me not to cry and to be brave. I want to tell you that I failed you…I cried a lot the day I lost you & I always cry when I don't find you around me when I need you. I cannot think of my life without you. Please come back dear dad!
Some people said that you left us cause God wanted you back for him but I need you more than him. There is nothing for me to celebrate…I am desperate. I will do anything to bring you back. I was being very brave all the while you were unwell. I smiled and worked while I cried from within all the time. I am crying while I am writing this to you. Have I become a weakling overnight? And everybody in the family thinks that this youngest son is the bravest one. I want to ask them to shut up for burdening me with this “tough” image. I want to howl and cry and cry. It is okay if I am weak. I am human. I want no medal for being a tough one. Please come back dear dad…
The time after you were operated, I had been sitting on your bedside, while you struggled with life. I watched as you were drugged by doctors and nurses. I know how much you hated it. I would get angry at you for having self-control and bear pain even when ill. Dad, I cried every time they gave you another injection and you would just grimace. I wanted you to shout at them and ask them to stop playing around with your body. But all you will do is bear the pain. You had grown so weak. I know how much you hated being dependent on others. I hated them for abusing your body like this. You went in pain. You went without saying goodbye to anyone of us. You never woke up from surgery. We should have never agreed for your surgery. For that might have meant few more days of your presence amongst us. Please forgive us for agreeing for this surgery. You taught us never to be greedy about anything in life. You were wrong. I want to somehow get few more days of you. I promise I will spend each and every day with you. Please come back dear dad….
Please come back dear dad…just for few more days. I feel that I did not get enough of you. Just come back to see your grand son/daughter who is waiting to arrive in this world very soon. What will I tell him/her if they ask me about you? Mom is all alone, she tries to hide her tears in front of us so that we can be strong to accept that you left us and went far away but deep down she really needs you..Please come back Dad.
It has almost been 40 days since you have left us. Your battle with cancer was hard at the end and I am so glad you do not hurt anymore. I was so glad I could care for you the day you got operated, I hope I didn't hurt you. I was sad I couldn't speak a word with you that early morning on October 3rd, 2011 when you passed away so peacefully. Please be with me dad because I know you will always live through me. I hate that you will never walk me down the aisle or see your future grandchildren, but I will continue to make you proud of me and live a brave honorable life as you always taught us to do. I LOVE YOU!!!! I miss you, Thank you for everything dad. May your soul rest in Peace....Ameen.
Some people said that you left us cause God wanted you back for him but I need you more than him. There is nothing for me to celebrate…I am desperate. I will do anything to bring you back. I was being very brave all the while you were unwell. I smiled and worked while I cried from within all the time. I am crying while I am writing this to you. Have I become a weakling overnight? And everybody in the family thinks that this youngest son is the bravest one. I want to ask them to shut up for burdening me with this “tough” image. I want to howl and cry and cry. It is okay if I am weak. I am human. I want no medal for being a tough one. Please come back dear dad…
The time after you were operated, I had been sitting on your bedside, while you struggled with life. I watched as you were drugged by doctors and nurses. I know how much you hated it. I would get angry at you for having self-control and bear pain even when ill. Dad, I cried every time they gave you another injection and you would just grimace. I wanted you to shout at them and ask them to stop playing around with your body. But all you will do is bear the pain. You had grown so weak. I know how much you hated being dependent on others. I hated them for abusing your body like this. You went in pain. You went without saying goodbye to anyone of us. You never woke up from surgery. We should have never agreed for your surgery. For that might have meant few more days of your presence amongst us. Please forgive us for agreeing for this surgery. You taught us never to be greedy about anything in life. You were wrong. I want to somehow get few more days of you. I promise I will spend each and every day with you. Please come back dear dad….
Please come back dear dad…just for few more days. I feel that I did not get enough of you. Just come back to see your grand son/daughter who is waiting to arrive in this world very soon. What will I tell him/her if they ask me about you? Mom is all alone, she tries to hide her tears in front of us so that we can be strong to accept that you left us and went far away but deep down she really needs you..Please come back Dad.
It has almost been 40 days since you have left us. Your battle with cancer was hard at the end and I am so glad you do not hurt anymore. I was so glad I could care for you the day you got operated, I hope I didn't hurt you. I was sad I couldn't speak a word with you that early morning on October 3rd, 2011 when you passed away so peacefully. Please be with me dad because I know you will always live through me. I hate that you will never walk me down the aisle or see your future grandchildren, but I will continue to make you proud of me and live a brave honorable life as you always taught us to do. I LOVE YOU!!!! I miss you, Thank you for everything dad. May your soul rest in Peace....Ameen.
Keep reading, commenting, enjoying & cheering your Life.
Luv u all,
I am just glad that you had the time you did with your dad when you did. Not a lot of us are that lucky.
ReplyDeleteDeeply saddened. I want you to understand one thing. Never ever blame yourself for any decision. It is the will of Allah alone. We can't change these things. We have to learn to accept it and live with it. Patience is the best remedy. Time is the best healer. Cherish the memories.
ReplyDeleteIts so touching, Shehzad. Your love for dad is expressed so deeply. I pray for peace to his soul..
ReplyDeleteI pray for his soul to rest in peace...
ReplyDeleteTc Shehzad...
May his soul rest in peace. Hang in there brother.
ReplyDelete@raajii - yeah thats true..I was lucky to b with my dad. I thanks Allah for giving me the opportunity to do the needful for my dad when he needed me.
ReplyDelete@arafat - Thanks bro for ur support. I know it was a though time for everyone but now everything seems to be back to normal & I have accepted the situation.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@kiran nambiar - Thnx bro for ur wishes & prayers.
ReplyDelete@ashish meher - thnx bro for ur wishes & prayers.
@anonymous - Thnx for ur prayers...will surely tc of myself...u 2 tc
You are a brave boy, shehzad.................ur quality of being brave has lined the sphere of extent..........after reading ur biography, my love for my father has considerably increased. U r a great man, son,brother..........
ReplyDeleteRegards
zuhair mirza